You might be a management red-neck if…
The signature routine of American stand-up comedian Jeff Foxworthy is his “you might be a red-neck if…”. For example
“You might be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the “Dirt for Sale” sign in the front yard.”
So what does this have to do with management (and leadership too..)? Plenty. Especially if you are a manager in a traditional organization or one who continues to hang on to traditional approaches while everything else around you is changing. So how would you know if you might be a management red-neck?
You might be a management red-neck if…
- you think you have the right to tell resources what to do, because well, you’re the manager
- you think you need to tell resources what to do, because after-all, they are generally lazy and stupid anyway, and you’re the manager
- you consider the time a resource spends at their desk an indicator of their productivity
- you think the amount of documentation a resource creates while at their desk is an indicator of their productivity
- you like to surround yourself by resources who are just like you are because you like resources who agree with you
- you think it’s OK to take the credit for the work of your resources
- you think it’s OK to call out one your resources in front of other resources
- you’ve mastered management-speak and consider it a status symbol
- you think status meetings are actually useful
- you hold said status meetings every week
- you like to hold said meetings because it shows you are the boss and you get to sit at the head of the table
- you don’t see the distinction between reporting and actual progress on delivering something of value
- you think being “the boss” is power and you like to tell every resource you meet that you are one, and have it
- you think you have to make all of the decisions, because, you know, you’re the boss
- you think having an office with walls is a status symbol (or worse, it’s just a larger cubicle than anyone else on your team has but you’re the boss so you get a bigger one…)
- you think that negative feedback and “tough love” are the only way to get resources to do your bidding
- you think that resources have to do your bidding without any questions
- you think that knowledge is power, so you like to hoard it
- you think it’s OK to watch another manager flounder because it will make you look better
- you reward resources who thrive at fighting fires
- you have no time for resources who like to avoid the fires in the first place
- you will adhere blindly to a policy even when you know it will get the wrong results, because well, that’s the policy
- you think outputs are more important than outcomes or business value
- you’re now thinking “what the heck is does he mean by business value?”
- you refer to people as resources…and treat them as interchangeable pieces of raw material (see what I did there in the rest of the list :))
So what do you think? Any others you’d add?
PS: This is meant as humor…so if you are offended or if you see yourself in it, then you just might be a management red-neck… :) and I’m sorry to call it out…well not really…
The bright side is that we are never too old to change our ways!
